Remember when the differences between you and the one you love felt good, refreshing and even complimentary? Meeting someone who is different from ourselves can be a gift. A private view into a world not our own. Someone to suggest new foods, venues, activities; to be stretched and grateful for it. Those are the days of a couple in love.
Quite often couples complain of these differences in couples’ sessions.
“She always leaves her shoes and clothes all over the bedroom and expects...”
“If it wasn’t for me, we would be drowning in debt. I’m the saver and apparently the only one who...”
“You are so scheduled. Would it hurt you to be a little more spontaneous?!”
Remembering What it Felt Like to be a Couple in Love
Where did it all go? How do partners lose each other in the process of it all? Couples often need to be reminded-gently nudged to go back and remember the early days. The days when it felt ok and even right to be different. When there was still enough trust in the relationship to reveal one’s true self and feel like it would be accepted and appreciated. To be loved, truly loved despite it all.
Is it Time for Couples Therapy?
Gabrielle Anderson is the Director and a Therapist at the Family Therapy Center of Northern Virginia, llc
She and the other team members can be contacted directly from the Center's Meet the Team page.