Mama of the Special Needs Child: Stop & Breathe By: Gabrielle Anderson, lmft

I awoke at 3am this morning to my 8 year old son babbling on and on about a dream he just had. For 15 minutes we listened to non-stop high energy chatter, the content of which I cannot even recall. It has been a year since our son has awoken us in the night. Waking up with him beside us is often an initial indicator that he is not well. My senses perked. I was no longer hearing the manic waterfall gushing out of his mouth; but was now in my own head assessing the situation. Why is he behaving so differently? Could it be the tick bite from 10 days ago? Is he not detoxed enough? He has been swimming in the pool everyday, maybe it’s the chlorine? Could it be herxing? He was pretty intense yesterday…

Running awful scenarios through my head is something I do well. But here’s the thing. My child’s brain becomes impacted by his environment. If my husband and I do not come up with the cause and the solution, he suffers, and the consequences can be rather dire.

In the moment at 3:30 in the morning, I decided to get my diffuser and essential oils. At first I wasn’t sure what to try. My son did not have night terrors (Juniper Berry), he was not experiencing multi-layered anxiety (Grounding Blend) nor was it even basic anxiety (Wild Orange or Lavender). We needed to stop the chatter in his head so he could stop the babbling coming out of his mouth. 

 I plugged in the diffuser and put in 2 drops of Cedarwood and 1 drop of Bergamot; the perfect recipe to stop internal chatter. As I turned on the diffuser, I asked my son to tell me when he could smell it. “Ok, mom” was the last thing I heard. 

 It would be nice if my story ended here. A happy ending where oils saved the day and stopped the madness. Parents of special needs children know it is rarely that simple. The next morning I weighed out the possibilities with my husband. Red food dye, gluten, chlorine, Lyme, the list of chemicals and substances and their reactions in his body can be endless. We decided. Our best line of defense is to stop- take a deep breath- watch and listen.

How difficult this can be. To give up a bit of control to sit back and wait. Wow. Not easy. Having a child with a chronic illness means my mommy ears and spidey senses are always on high alert. Looking, watching, piecing symptoms together with possible meanings and outcomes. The part I think I need to remind myself is to stop and breathe. 

I feel blessed to have a husband who is such a good team player. As difficult as life can sometimes get, it is nice to know that when the road twists and turns and when it becomes impossible to see the end, I find peace in knowing that I do not have to walk it alone. Stop, breathe,watch and listen. Slowing down enough to breathe...great advice if I can take it.

---