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The Importance of Friendship and Respect in a Marriage & Family

11/5/2016

5 Comments

 
Picture
​Remember what you liked about your spouse when you first began to date? How you respected one another and went out of your way to understand his perspective; the excitement that percolated every time you learned something new and fresh about this person?
 
Have you ever witnessed a teen and her mom laughing and sharing together and wished that you had that connection with your child? How did they get there? What do they know that you don’t know?
 

​Good, Strong Relationships are Built on Friendship. 

​Friendship connotes safety, respect and support. When we love our friends, we want what is best for them and we yearn to be close and connected. Sadly enough, marriages and families often forget this very important component to a healthy and satisfying relationship. 

​How Do You Communicate?

​All relationships have complaints, but not all complaints turn into criticisms.
 
“I feel underappreciated and am tired of picking up all your stuff.” (I statement) “Please be more mindful.” (voicing a wish…how to make it right)
 
…is a very different message than
 
“You’re so messy and disorganized”(can you feel the finger being pointed at your loved one?) “I can’t take your chaos… this room is disgusting!“(who your spouse or child is as a person, at their core was just attacked and made to feel like a serious detriment. I can almost feel the shame that was just fertilized and watered) 
 
Complaint #1 voices a complaint with an “I statement” and a wish attached, While message #2 attacks the person and makes them feel unworthy of you.
 

What we Say & How we Say it Can Fertilize or Scorch a Relationship:
Choose Words Wisely

​When we have enough negative interactions with a loved one, we tend to pull away, distance and protect. That doesn’t sound at all like the opening paragraph of this article. What happened to the excitement? The love? Learning how to voice complaints and communicate from a place of love and respect is absolutely vital if the relationship is going to grow.
 
 
Relationships that feel safe tend to yield themselves to curiosity and exploration.
Remember that scenario of a teen and her mom? It is impossible to have a close-knit safe bond if interactions erode the person and relationship. When we communicate love and support and these are felt in the relationship, trust breeds.
 
“I can let her in…tell her about my friends who are drinking because I know she won’t judge and I trust that she will give me guidance and direction”
 
I want my teen to be thinking this! To be brought into his/her level; to help them navigate life because there is trust and respect.
 
“I’m struggling with my boss. I know I’m getting defensive and reactive, but sometimes….”
 
I want my spouse to be able to talk to me this openly. To be able to share weaknesses and flaws and vulnerability means s/he feels safe and trusts that opening up and sharing will improve the situation and NOT harm it.

 How do you Feed Your Relationships? 

Are you going for water and a well-balanced fertilizer or acid and a dark shading blanket? Find the balance in your relationship; mindfully choose how you want love and respect to look like. Relationships that work and flourish are not by accident, they take purposeful choice, commitment and a curiosity to learn more and extend it further.

Who is the Author?
Gabrielle Anderson, lmft is the owner of the Family Therapy Center in Ashburn as well as a Marriage and Family therapist. She is a married mother of 2 and lives in Loudoun county. Contact Gabrielle here if you would like to schedule an appointment for couples counseling or individual therapy to help get you or your relationship back on the path to wellness.
​
5 Comments
John Carston link
1/26/2022 07:06:17 pm

I love that you talked about the importance of giving love and guidance to have a good relationship with your family. I have a cousin who wants to have counseling for his family to improve communication in each one of them and asked if I have any idea what is the best option to do. Thanks to this helpful article, I'll be sure to tell him that it will be much better if they consult a trusted counseling service in town as they can help him with his concerns.

Reply
Peter Maxwell
6/20/2022 01:16:49 am

Talk therapy has been really beneficial in my rehabilitation and treatment for PTSD. I have access to sessions and other alternative therapies that truly improve my emotional and psychological health thanks to https://revivorship.com/services/talk-therapy//, a holistic wellness facility near me.

Reply
Iris Smith link
9/8/2022 01:24:09 am

I appreciate you saying that in order to achieve balance in your relationship, you need to deliberately decide what respect and love should look like. I recently got married, so I'm still learning how to appreciate and love him as a spouse. I'll read the article on family therapy to learn more about it and get some advice.

Reply
relationship counseling link
10/24/2022 10:40:12 am

A strong marriage and family is built on a foundation of friendship and respect. When couples are friends, they are able to rely on and trust each other. This friendship strengthens the bond between them and helps to weather the storms of life. Respect is also an important ingredient in a strong marriage and family. When couples respect each other, they are able to value and appreciate each other. This mutual respect helps to keep communication open and honest, and it fosters a deeper level of trust and understanding.

Reply
Will Carron link
1/30/2023 09:29:05 pm

Thank you for sharing this very informative content. It helps a lot especially to those who are seeking knowledge about this.

Reply



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  • Us
    • Meet the Team >
      • What is an Intern?
      • What is a Resident?
    • Blog: Varied Topics by Our Clinicians
    • Blog: Lyme, PANDAS & Other Infections in Children & Adults
  • Adults & Teens
    • Individual Therapy
    • Couples Therapy
    • Family Therapy
    • In Crisis?
  • Child/Tween
    • Play Therapy Explained
    • Issues We Treat
    • Playful Tele-Health
    • In Crisis?
  • Meditation
    • 8 Week Stress Series
  • Admin & Contact Info
    • Paperwork for Chloe Cook Clients
  • For Other Therapists
    • Play Therapy Trainings >
      • Play Therapy Training
      • Play Training: Jan 22, 2021
      • Play Training: March 19, 2021
      • Grievances & Refunds
    • CE Trainings
    • Supervision: RPT